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How To Gain Confidence: At Work And In Life

By Natasha A. Unzueta

Gaining self confidence is a very hard task, but it can be very achievable if you have patience, determination, and to truly believe that you are going to make it. The following are some of the ways through which you can gain self confidence:Learn your insecurities - In order to gain self confidence you have to locate those issues that make you uncomfortable. It can be a result of past experience, friends or general appearance. You can even write them down on a paper and tear it later to make you feel better.

[How To Gain Confidence]

Share your insecurities with family and friends. These are the closest people to you and they can be of great help to you. If it's something you cannot change, learn to accept it because acceptance is the best solution you can ever have in this world.Be aware that no one in this world is perfect, so appreciate all that you have

Identify your successes - Get to know the good things and the talents you have and appreciate them. By this you can find inner peace that will help you gain self-confidence in some areas of your life.Do not care too much about what other people think - Other people tend to care more about themselves than you. You cannot please everybody in the world, so do what you think is right and pleases you. For example, when you are speaking in a public gathering, do not care about how people think about you, just believe in yourself. This will help you appreciate yourself, which builds your self-confidence

Allow being judged - You have to accept this because everyone, including me, judges other people. All you need to do is be okay with it; some will judge you positively and others negatively. This is hard! But you have to do it, just do not be so concerned on how people think about you. Appreciate yourself just the way you are and you are going to gain self-confidence.Help other people - By helping other people or just showing kindness, you create an awareness in your mind that you have a positive impact in the outside world. It helps to treat others how you want to be treated. When you constantly treat others kindly, they will begin to treat you the same way. Therefore this will help you gain self-confidence.

Dress for success - This creates an inner awareness of being smart. By doing this, you have no fear of being judged by looking ugly. Therefore this enhances the way you carry yourself and the way you relate with the people around you, hence increasing your esteem. You do not have to go out and buy a new wardrobe. Go shopping and truly buy what you like and feel comfortable in. Personal hygene is also very important. Feeling clean and being confident are closely related.In every occasion, sit in the front row - Many people want to stay at the back because they have a fear inside themselves. Always motivate yourself to sit in the front row so that the fear of being noticed can go away. This way you can gain self-confidence very fast.

Work out - If your lack of self confidence is as a result of body shape, you can have exercises that will help you keep fit and be of the size you want. Working out is not just good for gaining self-confidence it is directly related to many other improvements in your life. Working out can be one of the best and easiest solutions to a low self-confidence!Confidence is a powerful asset to have in the workplace. People who are confident in themselves can expect to be given increased responsibility, leadership opportunities and ultimately more success.

But of course, confidence is to be distinguished from arrogance, which does not attract people or success. When you are confident, you believe in your own abilities but you do not need to look down at or mistreat others. In fact, the greater your confidence, the more you will act in a selfless, generous and engaging manner.Here are three top tips to help you develop confidence at work.Focus On Confidence.Confidence is ultimately an emotion. When you feel the emotion of confidence, it allows you to access inner resources that make you more capable and focussed. On the other hand, when you feel a lack of confidence, you will tend to hold back, not take risks and generally under-perform.But while confidence may be an emotion, developing it is more of a skill. And skill requires practice. Any complex skill that you are now able to perform, which includes reading, writing and talking required a lot of practice. Any skills at work that you are able to perform also required practice.

Developing your confidence is no different. I'd love to be able to tell you that you just need to read one article and you'll be confident. In our urgent need to get results fast, we still delude ourselves into believing that we can get things faster than is possible. The fact is, anything you have ever achieved of value, required practice and effort. And it begins with focus.Focus on being more confident. Set aside time every day to work on your confidence. It doesn't need to be very long. But daily effort will supercharge your efforts to be more confident.Change your Thoughts to Improve Your Confidence.As we have mentioned, confidence is an emotion. And emotions are caused by thoughts. Before you can feel sad, you have to have thought a sad thought. Before you can feel happy, you must have had a thought that was happy too. In the same manner, your thoughts can drastically transform your confidence levels, if you take care to think only confident thoughts.

So what thoughts do you have on a regular basis? Monitor your "self-talk". That is, listen to things that you say to yourself each day. If it's a lot of "I'm no good at this" and "I can't do this" then of course, you will not feel confident.If you can change your habitual thoughts, you can transform your confidence.Develop your skills.Confidence without competence is not a great look. The more competent you are at work, the more confident you will feel. Most people take a very vague and unhelpful approach to improving their skills. If the company pays for them to go on a course, they will do it. But in the 21st century, you can't afford to leave your improvement in the hands of others. Especially in hard economic times, the opportunities for learning may not be as forthcoming.

So you need to take control. It's not that hard. Just set aside some time each day to develop your skills. Make it a ritual. It might be reading trade publications. It might be reading a book related to your field. The best time to do is first thing in the morning. That way, nothing else will get in its way.And something that really helps is to find another person or a group who share your desire for improvement. You will be able to motivate each other, discuss things you have learnt and generally help each other to maintain focus. All you need to do is improve a little bit each day, and pretty soon, you will notice a huge difference.The more capable you become, the more confident you will feel. It's like a self-reinforcing cycle. As you increase your confidence, you will feel more compelled to improve yourself.Putting It All Together.When you feel confident at work, you will enjoy it more, perform better and ultimately be more successful. Take steps to focus on developing your confidence, change your thoughts and invest time in getting better at what you do.

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