We each have these vital moments that we reach in our lives. Sometimes, for some, it really happens sometime sooner than later. For others...it takes years upon many years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to a single point where we all know, within the deepest part of our hearts, that things must change. This wish for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There's a different sort of energy to it. There's a different feeling to it altogether.
You must do the most scary thing you will ever do - face your grandest nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 which wasn't by choice. I recollect standing in that loft, hearing words that I would not forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything and anything I could. In the final analysis, I'll always remember that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the moment of losing myself that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the entire mounting up of dry leaves and hay from years and years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning, a week later, it reached its low point. Definitely rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that pitch black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I woke up late the following day gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could reconstruct my entire world the way I wanted it.
But I would have to face myself.
Just as importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everyone else, to be fully responsible for my whole life, and to finally let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the amazing things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Pain was kept away from me...joy remained hidden covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding evaded my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being honest about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I would create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, that's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping type of pain that will scare you to death. It frightens you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The reality is, that's where your strength is. There's incalculable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there is strength in great faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could eventually be wiped out, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Real power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I will continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Do not ever be frightened to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Desire love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that has been obstructing you. You really are going to have to dive deep into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No armour. No weapon. No type of effort to rise up above it.
You should go in defenseless and vulnerable.
You can come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I truly would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you need to go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin to live the grandest type of life you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can tell you...this place, is where life starts.
You must do the most scary thing you will ever do - face your grandest nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 which wasn't by choice. I recollect standing in that loft, hearing words that I would not forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything and anything I could. In the final analysis, I'll always remember that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the moment of losing myself that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the entire mounting up of dry leaves and hay from years and years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning, a week later, it reached its low point. Definitely rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that pitch black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I woke up late the following day gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could reconstruct my entire world the way I wanted it.
But I would have to face myself.
Just as importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everyone else, to be fully responsible for my whole life, and to finally let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the amazing things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Pain was kept away from me...joy remained hidden covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding evaded my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being honest about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I would create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, that's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping type of pain that will scare you to death. It frightens you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The reality is, that's where your strength is. There's incalculable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there is strength in great faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could eventually be wiped out, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Real power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I will continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Do not ever be frightened to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Desire love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that has been obstructing you. You really are going to have to dive deep into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No armour. No weapon. No type of effort to rise up above it.
You should go in defenseless and vulnerable.
You can come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I truly would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you need to go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin to live the grandest type of life you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can tell you...this place, is where life starts.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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